Q: Is this satire?
A: That depends on which side of the waves you reside. For the crabs, this is very real.
Q: Why do crabs think fish are flying?
A: Because from a crab’s sideways vantage point, anything off the seafloor looks airborne. 🦀
Q: What if I do not understand linear shellgebra?
A: You may audit, but you must bring your own claws.
Q: What is the eigenshell of a crab?
A: It's the minimal shell under the standard claw action that remains invariant under tidal shift. If molting occurs, the eigenshell collapses on the reef floor.
Q: Is symbolic clustering able to be analyzed in reef space?
A: As of right now, only if the underlying shell exchange transformation is mollusk-regular (satisfies i.d.m.c. - infinite disjoint mollusk coniditon).
Q: How is South Mariana Trench university accredited?
A: We are proudly unaccredited. Knowledge at this depth transcends both terrestrial and standard oceanic recognition systems.
Q: Can I do my postdoc at the trench?
A: Yes, but you will be expected to teach "Tidal Reccurence for Softshells" and sleep in a compression pod between the tectonic vents.